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Great Excuses for a Poor Golf Shot

A golfer’s creativity for coming up with reasons why they have hit a poor shot is limitless!

Listening to our golfing mates and trawling the net here’s a selection of our favourites, which you may like to use or tick off as you hear them being used!

Feel free to add any extras of your own….


– That [sun/moon/fly/mossie/shadow/bee/bird] was [on/in] my [ball/club/eye/ear/mouth/pants]

– The [wind/sun/moon/grass/sky/slope/break/sand/world] changed during my [backswing/downswing/follow-through]

– I hurt my [back/neck/arm/nose/foot/hand/thumb/toe/spleen] when I was [fixing the car/in the shed/painting the house/on the phone/in bed/driving to the club]

– To be honest, I haven’t played in [days/weeks/months/years/these clothes]

– I’m suffering from [Lack of/too much] [ sleep/sex/coffee/alcohol ]

– I’ve got [new/faulty] [clubs/ balls/shafts/bag/tees/cart/shoes/grips/partners]

– Did you see that? My ball was in / on a [divot/pitchmark/hole/puddle/bush/rake mark/ acorn/twig/leaf]

– My ball hit a [spikemark/pitchmark/leaf/twig/insect/mound/black hole/sign/marker]

– I’m never good playing in [wind/rain/frost/heat/detox/ morning/afternoon/evening/these tees]

– I was looking at the wrong [flagstick/green/fairway/scorecard/course]

– My [rangefinder/sat nav/GPS] confused [me/the hole/the course/pin with a tree]

–  I can’t play when I’m [sober/drunk/detoxing/awake/with people/alone/here]

–  The [scorecard/yardagebook/GPS/Caddy/sprinkler/measurements/markers] must be way off

–  I forgot my [glasses/glove/clubs/spikes/partner/car/name]

–  You were all [breathing/coughing/farting/laughing/thinking/looking]

– My shadow looked a bit odd as I was standing over the ball

– I was still thinking about that last [hole/swing/drink/3-putt/joke/tv program]

– The ground is too [dry/wet/cold/warm/hard/uneven/flat/soft/grassy/muddy/clean/frosty]

– My ball is too [dry/wet/cold/warm/hard/uneven/flat/soft/grassy/muddy/clean/frosty]

– The greens are too [hard/soft/big/small/fast/slow/bumpy/flat/cored/wet/dry/smooth/green]

– I thought you said [“dogleg left/dogleg right/uphill/downhill/no water/lay up/wind from right/behind/left/into”]

– The [Driving range/putting green] was [faster/slower/warmer/colder/missing]

– I never hit the ball with a [slice/fade/hook/draw]

– The sand in the bunkers is too [soft/fluffy/white/wet/dry/grainy/ sandy]

– My other [driver/club/putter] is [at home/in the car/in the shop/broken]

– Group in [front/back/clubhouse] is too [fast/slow/loud/noisey]

– I’m a bit [hungry/parched/distracted/bloated/tired/achy/drunk]

– My [underwear/shirt/trousers/shoes] was/were [riding up/tight/loose/noisy]

– I knew I should have changed my [balls/clubs//swing thought/underwear]

– Did you hear that [mobile phone/bird/ fore/thunder/plane/siren/UFO/car]

– I had no time to [warm up/cool down/drink/eat/think/pee/burp/practice]

– I shouldn’t have drank all that [coffee/beer/water/bourbon/juice/soup]

– It’s not MY fault, blame the [Golf Gods/greenskeeper/caddy/marshall/starter/pro/Prime Minister/wife/Earth’s rotation/global warming/]


January 21, 2015